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Sadie hiked up the hunter green gown and sat down cross-legged in front of Lily. “Are you going to go back to camp?”
“No. Even I know you can’t go back. I need to wallow in my misery for a little while before I make any decisions. I think I’m going to sell my parents’ condo. I never liked it. That’s a concrete decision. I won’t have to pay the maintenance if I sell it. I’ll save three thousand a year if I get rid of it, not to mention the utilities. I hate going back there. There are just too many memories attached to that condo. With that in mind, the logical thing for me to do is stay in Natchez and make my life here. Thanks for being my friend, Sadie. I’m going to miss you.”
Lily stared at her friend’s earnest face. Sadie was the kind of friend everyone deserved. She was honest, loving, caring, and fiercely loyal. Right now, her piercing blue eyes pleaded with Lily.
“I need to know you’re going to be okay, Lily. This is going to be the first time since we were six years old that we’re going to be separated. Do you think it will work for you, staying here?”
“I suppose it’s all ... doable. Right now I can’t think straight. Maybe I should just move on. Go somewhere new, different, start a new life. What in the hell will I do alone in Natchez, Mississippi?”
“Finish restoring the house. In another few weeks it will be done, and you can move in. Or you can sell it if you want to. You can teach school. Besides your degree in forestry, you also have a degree in education. Use it. Get over this rough patch. Get grounded, then make decisions. Living here year-round, you could very well come to love Natchez. Just because it isn’t for me doesn’t mean it won’t be right for you. In time you’ll adjust to the brutal humidity. We can talk it to death over dinner.”
Lily’s head whirled. “If . . . if I decide to stay in Natchez, that isn’t like running away, is it, Sadie? That’s what I did the first time. I don’t want to live like that again.”
“No, Lily. It’s called moving on and getting on with your life. You’re thirty years old. This is supposed to be the best time of your life. It can be, too, if you open up and embrace it. You’re tough, kiddo. Ozzie made us tough. We’re survivors. That means emotional as well as physical. Listen, the guy was a dumb shit to do this to you. It’s his loss. You would have made him a hell of a wife. Now, I have to go downstairs and tell his best man something. Does anything come to mind?”
Lily peeled off her thigh-highs and headed for the bathroom. “Tell him to go back to wherever it was he came from. Don’t tell him anything else. I’m going to get dressed and drive over to the Emerys to pick up Buzz. If you like, we can get a bite to eat or we can sit here and you can watch me bawl my eyes out. Your choice.”
Sadie stared at her friend’s retreating back. Pick up Buzz, get a bite to eat. The girl had just been left standing at the altar in front of fifty of Matt Starr’s associates, and she wanted to get a bite to eat. She blinked. “That sounds like a plan. I’ll run downstairs and tell what’s-his-name to . . . to do whatever he wants. I’ll be right back.” She waited for a response and when there was none she wasn’t surprised. She let herself out and walked down the steps to the first floor.
It was like all apartment lobbies—slate floor, a mirrored wall, rattan furniture with artificial flower arrangements on the tables. Even with the sunlight filtering through the bamboo blinds it was depressing. This whole place was so unlike either one of them. They’d moved there because she’d told Lily she would learn to love the town and the people. She was usually right about most things. What she hadn’t figured on was Matt Starr leaving Lily standing at the altar a second time.
“Dennis, can I talk to you for a minute?” Sadie said, sitting down across from him. Her first thought was he was handsome in a nerdy kind of way. He had beautiful eyes and an even more beautiful smile. Her second thought was he probably looked better in tweeds or jeans than he did in his tux.
He was on his feet in an instant, his face a mask of worry. “I don’t know what to say. Matt wouldn’t . . . I know about the last time but . . . The last time I talked to him was two weeks ago, and everything was a go. I thought it was strange when there was no one to pick me up at the airport. I think something happened to him. How is Lily? Jesus, this must be like a scene in a horror movie for her. Twice and by the same guy. Dammit, this is not something Matt Starr would do. You should understand, Sadie. You and Lily have been friends since you were little children. You know everything there is to know about each other. That’s the way it is with Matt and me. I know I sound like a broken record, but Matt simply would not do this. Something must have happened to him.”
“Something happened all right. Your buddy got cold feet like he did the first time. Don’t try to defend him. This is unconscionable. How much time does it take to make a phone call? Seconds. If your buddy didn’t have the guts to talk to Lily, he could have put a note under the door. I think the guy is gutless is what I think. I really don’t care to hear anything else about him. As to how Lily is, she’s . . . she’s none of your damn business. You can tell that to your buddy, too. She’ll do just fine because she’s a . . . fine person, unlike some people I would rather not mention. This whole thing was so humiliating. I was only in the wedding party, and I was humiliated. Who does that man think he is? Because he’s rich and the media has him snapping at Bill Gates’s heels doesn’t give him the right to do this to my friend. It’s beyond cruel. You tell him that for me,” Sadie said angrily. “Wherever you’re going, have a safe trip.”
“Why are you yelling at me? This isn’t my fault. Sadie, listen to me. I’m telling you, something must have happened. Matt isn’t anything like what you said. He loves Lily. All he wants to do is talk about her, day and night. In my opinion, he’s never been happier. He told me all about their plans, their hopes and dreams. I’m telling you, something happened to him. Why don’t you believe that? I think I’m going to file a police report,” he said, jerking at the bow tie at his neck.
“You do that! You have to wait forty-eight hours before the police will even talk to you. If you do file one, don’t bother either of us with the results. Read my lips, we don’t want to know anything about Matt Starr. Not now, not ever. I don’t want you calling Lily and upsetting her any more than she is already. Are we clear on that?”
Sadie stomped off to the elevator. She didn’t look back.
Sadie opened the door in time to see Lily stuffing her wedding apparel into large trash bags. She looked grim and brittle. She stepped aside as Lily drop-kicked the trash bag in the general direction of the door.
“I’m sorry about the expense of your gown and all, Sadie. I’ll pay you back.”
“You will not. I’m taking this gown to Australia with me. I’m sure at some point there will be a dinner party I can wear it to. Give me ten minutes to change, and we can be on our way. I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay. I feel like someone ripped out my guts. My head feels like cotton candy, and my heart is beating way too fast. I just want to get my dog and curl up with him so I can bawl my eyes out and have him lick my face. I need to do that, Sadie. You know, get it out of the way. Damn, the house was supposed to be this big surprise! I know Matt would have loved your old house as much as I do. It was going to be our getaway place or maybe our home base. I’m just now beginning to realize I didn’t know Matt Starr. How can that be, Sadie? I was going to marry a man I know nothing about. Let’s go to Pearl Street Pasta before we pick up Buzz. I’m not saying I’m going to eat. I just want to get out of here so I can breathe.”
Forty minutes later they were seated at a cozy table in back of the bar area perusing the menu. It was warm and comfortable, the lighting dim. As the hour wore on, Sadie watched in horror as Lily downed one drink after another. She didn’t try to stop her.
“Dennis said he’s going to file a missing person’s report. He said he thinks something happened to Matt. Do you want to hear this, Lily?”
“No. You have
to wait forty-eight hours before filing a missing person’s report. You know that as well as I do. I don’t care what he does. Tell me something you haven’t already told me about your old house. Just talk to me. I don’t care what you say, just talk. Oh, Sadie, I hope you like what I did to your grandmother’s house. When you come to visit, it won’t look anything like you remember it. The outside is the same, but the inside is all open and airy. The kitchen is so modern, state-of-the-art, the bathrooms are elegant with sunken tubs and big gorgeous garden windows. The architect is worth every cent I’m paying him.”
“I think staying in Natchez is going to be the best thing for you. Take as much time as you need to get squared away. Soak up the town, take pictures, go for walks, visit the library, and read everything you can. Ask for a tour of the grade school if you think you might want to teach. Hire a housekeeper. That’s going to be a mission in itself. You know you can’t cook, and you’re no great shakes at keeping house. You’ll need to check out the vet in case Buzz needs shots or something. Staying here a few months out of the year never gave us time to do the ordinary things other people do. We were here, we were in Fort Lauderdale, then we’d go to New York, and then Wyoming. It wasn’t like either one of us actually lived in Natchez. I imagine you’ll be busy for a few weeks. Whatever you do, don’t go playing sad songs on the stereo and don’t read any sad novels either. Deal with the here and now.”
“It was supposed to be for us. Not just me,” Lily said, peering across the table at her friend. “There is no us now.”
“You’re going to do this because it’s the thing to do, and it’s just you and Buzz. You can handle it, Lily. Later you can do whatever you want. You have to get through this period of time the best way you can. You can’t go back to Ozzie and the camp because you need to go forward. To go back would be courting disaster. Who knows, old Matt might come to his senses and start looking for you. Some guys get off on crap like that. You’re way too vulnerable now.”
Lily didn’t speak for a long time. When she looked up at her friend, there were tears in her eyes.
“Do you think something happened to Matt, Sadie?”
“No, I don’t. I think he’s still afraid of commitment.”
“Then do you think that million dollars he put in my bank account was a payoff? Do you think he did that knowing he was going to dump me a second time? Was that his way of easing his conscience? And what about all those stock options he gave me? I guess he wanted to be sure I didn’t starve. Actually he made me a multimillionaire. The last time I looked, Digitech was around $160 a share. He just kissed me off in the blink of an eye, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what he did. Oh, Lily, I’m so sorry this happened. I wish there was something I could do to wipe away that horrible look on your face.”
Lily swallowed her glass of wine in two long gulps and held it out for a refill. “What is this?” she asked, pointing to her plate.
“Chicken something or other. It’s what you ordered. It’s good. Try eating something, Lily. Listen, I think I’m going to delay my trip a few days and stay here in Natchez with you. I don’t feel right leaving you.”
“No, no, no. I walked into this with my eyes wide-open. I have no one to blame but myself. I’ll be okay. When you stop to think about it, a million-dollar kiss-off plus stock options isn’t so hard to take. I’m going to enjoy spending every single penny of Matt Starr’s money,” Lily said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Lily, don’t cry.”
Lily gulped more wine as she stared at the busy waiters rushing about “He’s not worth my tears is he? How much did I pay you for your house? My brain is numb. I can’t seem to think or remember anything. I don’t think I’m going to sell the condo. I’ll just close it up. I’m not in any condition to make decisions that involve large sums of money right now.”
“Good thinking, Lily. There’s no hurry to sell. Consider it a sanctuary in case you ever feel the need of one. Eighty thousand, and I robbed you. It’s costing you five times that amount to fix it up. That monstrosity Mom willed to me was just sitting empty for twenty-five years. I’m glad to be rid of it and the taxes that go with it. I’ll remind you of that tomorrow when you’re sober. You said you were using all your inheritance to refurbish it. That’s not counting your kiss-off money and all those stock options,” Sadie said sourly.
Lily nodded as she poured more wine into her glass. “You don’t think he’s lying dead somewhere, do you, Sadie?”
“No, I don’t think he’s lying dead somewhere. Eat something, Lily.”
“What did you do with the food from the reception?”
“I told Rene Adams to take it to the nearest homeless shelter or soup kitchen. She wanted to know what she should do with the flowers. I told her to send them to a nursing home. I hope that was okay, Lily.”
“That was nice of you. People say their hearts break all the time. I always thought that was impossible, but it’s true. My heart feels like it was shattered. How am I going to get over this?”
“One day at a time, Lily. The same way you did it before.”
Lily wrapped her arms around Sadie one last time. I’ll miss you, Sadie. I don’t know how to thank you for everything. This is the second time you’ve . . .”
“Shhh,” Sadie said, placing her index finger on Lily’s lips. “We’re friends. I’ll call every chance I get. I’m going to miss you so much, Lily. You should leave before we both start to cry. Buzz is waiting for you in the car. If you need me, all you have to do is call, and I’ll be on the next plane back here. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“They’re calling you to board. Call, okay?” Lily said in a choked voice.
“Yeah, you, too. Oh, God, I almost forgot. I’ve been meaning to give you this forever. I kept forgetting. It came with the house. It’s probably just a trinket of some kind. I found it wedged in the back of one of the closets. It always helps to have something from an old house. You know, an antique or something to let you know someone real lived there before you. It’s called a Wish Keeper. I remember hearing my mom talk about it one time. Don’t ask me what that means. Dip it in that silver cleaner stuff or just carry it in your pocket. I think it’s a good-luck charm. For you, Charming Lily. Remember now, I’m just a phone call away.”
“Don’t worry about me, Sadie. I’ll be okay. I’m going to be busy for the next day or so returning all the wedding presents. Maybe I’ll just hire that wedding place to do it for me.” She looked down at the tarnished silver chain and pendant before she closed her hand into a fist. It felt warm and comfortable. She stuck it in her pocket and a moment later forgot about it.
“Sounds good. Bye, Lily. I love you.”
Lily bit down on her lower lip. She didn’t trust herself to speak. She turned to leave, tears burning her eyes.
The sudden urge to run after Sadie was so strong, Lily found herself running through the concourse to the escalator that would take her to the parking lot outside. To Buzz. Buzz was all she had left now.
Inside the Range Rover, Matt’s birthday gift to her, she reached for the golden Lab and held on to him so fiercely the gentle giant yelped in pain. When Lily relaxed her hold on the dog, he snuggled down next to her, his big head in her lap. Hot tears dripped onto his head.
“You know what I think, Buzz. I think we should go home, put all our stuff in this fine vehicle, and head for our new house. We can stay in the little cottage. There really is nothing to keep us at the apartment except convenience, so there’s no point in hanging around. As Sadie would say, it’s a plan. I just want to get out of there. Oh, God, Buzz, how could I have been such a fool? Why didn’t I see this coming? Not only was I dumb and stupid, I was blind in the bargain.”
Buzz whimpered as he pawed at her legs. Lily sniffed, blew her nose, rolled down the window, and backed out of the parking space. She tossed the wadded-up tissue over her shoulder onto the backseat as she headed for the exit sign that would take her away from the
Baton Rouge airport and back to Natchez.
It was five-thirty when Lily stacked the last of the wedding presents on the dining-room table along with a list of instructions. She’d called down to the management offices earlier and was assured everything would be taken care of in her absence.
She eyed the pile of suitcases in the small foyer. She was going to need a dolly to get them all to the parking area and into the truck. Buzz at her side, she took the steps to the ground level where she rummaged for a dolly in the storage area. She smiled when Buzz hopped on top for his ride up in the elevator.
The Rover’s clock said it was 5:47 when she peeled out of the parking area to South Commerce and crossed State before making a right on Main and a left one block later onto North Union and her new house. She didn’t look back once. She hadn’t fed Buzz yet, so she needed to stop to pick up something for his dinner and some coffee for herself. She turned around in the middle of the road in front of her house and headed for the Pig Out Inn, where she picked up some shredded beef on a roll for the Lab. Until tomorrow, it was the best she could do.
Lily sat behind the wheel, coffee cup in hand. She realized suddenly that she was tired. She’d had so little sleep the past few days she knew she was going on pure adrenaline. She watched as a travel-weary family walked across the road toward their car. They, too, must have traveled all night to be with their family for New Year’s and now they were heading home. A husband and wife and three small children. A family. She craned her neck for a better look and saw the wife bend down to pick up a fluffy brown-and-white dog. Picture complete. A towhead dressed in a denim romper waved to her. She waved back. A perfect little family. Would she ever be blessed with a family of her own? She shook her head to clear the cobwebs. She emptied the coffee in the cup. She felt like her eyeballs were snapping to attention.
“You know what, Buzz. I don’t feel like going anywhere right now. Let’s go for a ride. I need to roll my windows down and let some air blow over me. Let’s take a spin across the Mississippi River Bridge. Oops, they don’t really call it that anymore. They call it the Natchez Vidalia Bridge. You know, like the onions. Sadie told me that.”