Captive Secrets Page 2

  Sirena’s knees buckled and she would have slipped to the floor but for her husband, who had come up silently behind her and now caught her in his arms. “I have no God anymore, Regan,” Sirena whispered to him. “He has forsaken me. I will never say another prayer. Never!” she cried against his shoulder as he carried her away from the chapel entrance to their bedroom at the far end of the casa.

  Regan felt his throat constrict as he gently lowered his wife to the bed. Memories of Fury, their beloved little girl, washed over him in wave after wave of anguish. He remembered her birth—during the eye of the worst storm ever to attack Java. It had been a difficult labor, but he had seen Sirena through it. The child had squalled furiously at the first smack to her bottom. Regan recalled his words from that long-ago time: “This one is a fury, Sirena!” he’d said proudly as the storm descended on Java. When they christened the tiny bundle a month later, it was he who said she was to be called Furana. “So you’ll never forget the Rana,” he’d murmured to his wife. Now he struggled in his mind for the right words to tell her that things would be all right. But he knew they wouldn’t be. He knew this beautiful woman so well, knew her better than he knew himself. The moment Fury left their lives, Sirena would climb into the same shell she’d closed about herself when their other children died. She would be lost to him. And when that happened, his own will to live would shrivel and die.

  Sirena met her husband’s anxious gaze with shimmering, tear-filled eyes. She knew him so well, knew exactly what he was thinking, and she wanted so much to say the words he needed to hear. She loved this man with every breath in her body. He was so handsome, with his fair hair and bronze skin. Her Dutchman. They’d gone to hell and back and survived, but this . . . At last she shook her head and smiled at him.

  “I’m all right now, darling,” she said, brushing away her tears. “And I promise that I won’t put you through any more misery. In the past my grief consumed me, but I won’t let it happen again. When we sail for the Americas tomorrow at sundown, this life will be behind us. You have my word. Come, now we must get ready for dinner. Fury will be waiting for us.”

  Regan was almost dizzy with relief at his wife’s words. And when Sirena reached up and kissed him full on the lips—a long, lingering kiss—his pain melted away, and he forgot everything but the love he bore for this, the most beautiful woman in the world.

  While the house buzzed and seethed with preparations for her birthday ball, Fury perched on the wide windowsill of the secluded breakfast nook at the back of the house. She loved this sunny spot and her feathered friends waiting outside the window. Fury’s eyes scanned the birds, looking for Gaspar, the wide-winged goshawk she’d found as a wounded nestling and raised with care. Gaspar was always the last to arrive, and he did so with silent fanfare, his wings flapping with authority. The smaller birds, Gaspar’s offspring, took wing and circled overhead until his perch was steady. Fury giggled as they flew down to take positions to the left and right of their impressive sire. She was reminded of a row of soldiers awaiting orders, she the general in command. She clapped her hands and watched in amusement as twenty pairs of eyes turned to watch her expectantly.

  “Ladies first.” She smiled as she held out a handful of meat scraps flavored with congealed bacon fat. One by one the birds ate their fill, pecking daintily from the palm of her hand. When they finished she said, “Shoo,” and as one they flew to separate perches in the trees.

  Gaspar waited patiently for the words that would signal it was his turn. And as always, it was her scarred arm, thonged with leather, that he perched on—the right one, scored deeply in several places from a long-ago battle to save him from the talons of a huge marauding kite. “For you, my darling,” Fury crooned. “Eat like a gentleman.” And he did, allowing her at the same time to tweak his long beak with her soft touch.

  “I’m going to miss you, Gaspar, and all the others, too, but I have to go,” Fury murmured. “I’ll never forget you.” Gaspar cocked his dark head and stared at her with his shiny eyes. “I know you understand everything I say. From the day I saved you, we . . . it must be like that special feeling a mother has when her baby recovers from a sickness after she nurses it through the night. You’ll always belong to me, Gaspar. And you’ll be well taken care of when I’ve gone, that’s a promise. Now it’s time for you to get out of this hot sun. Go, and later I’ll have a special treat for your little ones. Take this to Pilar for now,” she said, holding out two small chunks of bacon fat. Gaspar took both pieces in his talons and flew high into the trees, where Pilar sat with her fresh crop of nestlings. Fury had christened the two tiny birds the moment they’d emerged from their protective shells: Sato and Lago. She had no way of knowing from the vantage point at her bedroom window if the birds were male or female. And she’d never see the little ones take wing for the first time. A single tear dropped to her hand. She would miss them terribly. Another tear fell on her hand as two pairs of dark eyes watched from the branches overhead. Wings flapped and leaves rustled as the young woman wiped away her tears with a lace-edged handkerchief.

  “Fury,” Sirena called from beyond the closed bedroom door, “is it safe to come in?”

  Fury smiled and opened the door to her mother. “Yes, they’re gone, Mother, dinner is over. I think Gaspar knows I’m leaving. Pilar, too. It makes me very sad.”

  It was on the tip of Sirena’s tongue to beg her daughter one more time to change her mind, but she resisted the impulse. Fury loved Gaspar and Pilar as much as she loved her family—in a way, they were part of her family—but she was willing to leave them behind. “The cook will take good care of them, darling.”

  “I know, Mother, it’s just that Gaspar is like a child to me. I will worry about him and Pilar, I can’t help it.” She shook her head and sighed. “I’m not very hungry. Would you mind if I walked through the garden for a while?”

  “Of course not, go along. But I’d like you to take a nap before the ball. Will you do that for me?”

  “Of course, Mother, but only if you promise to take one, too.”

  Sirena nodded, not trusting her voice, and gave her daughter a kiss as she left the room.

  “She has so many good-byes,” Regan said hoarsely. “Every bird, every animal in the garden, will get a pat and a few words of loving remembrance. My God, Sirena, what did we do wrong to make our daughter want to leave us like this?”

  Sirena toyed with the food on her plate and tried to speak past the lump in her throat. “Is it possible we loved her too much? . . . Oh, Regan, we can’t talk about this again, it’s killing me.” Sirena’s eyes flew to the wall above the sideboard in the dining room. Crossed rapiers, hers and Regan’s, gleamed in the filtered sunlight. “He’s punishing me, Regan, you, too. I know you don’t believe in Fury’s God, but this time you must believe me. We’re being punished.”

  Regan’s clenched fist pounded the table, causing china and silver to dance in front of their eyes. “I refuse to believe that! I won’t believe some . . . spirit controls our lives, our daughter’s life. I never understood all those holy words you say over wooden beads. It’s demented. If there is a God, why did he allow your sister to be raped and killed? And our sons. What kind of God would allow our flesh and blood to be lost at sea? Why did he allow you to suffer so, and why is he taking Fury from us? How many times you called me a heathen, Sirena, because I don’t believe. Twice now you have renounced this God of yours. Is it going to help matters? Is Fury going to stay with us? The answer is no.”

  Sirena lifted her head, her green eyes sparkling dangerously. How many times they’d had this same conversation, and always it ended in anger, with each of them going for their rapiers and threatening the other with death. “Damn you, Regan, not today! I refuse to fence with you.”

  “And I have no time to fence with the winner,” came a soft voice from the dining room threshold.

  Regan and Sirena whirled about, surprised. Then Sirena laughed, the tense moment between her husband and hersel
f broken . . . which had been Fury’s intention. Always before when husband and wife worked out their hostilities with the rapier, it was the daughter who fenced with the winner. Every bit as artful as Sirena, she also had the stamina and hard-driving determination of Regan. She’d lost only one match, and that had been several years before. Now she was better than ever with a rapier. The cutlass was another story altogether. Her father had worked with her for hours at a time, strengthening her weakened right arm until even he had admitted they were evenly matched.

  Fencing was an art, a sport, and Fury excelled at it just as she did at everything. She knew she brought tears to her mother’s eyes when she plucked the strings of her guitar and again when her nimble fingers slid over the spinet that sat in the drawing room. Her voice was trained, thanks to her mother, and she often sang for guests.

  They’d given her everything, these wonderful parents, big strapping brothers to love, a fine education, their love, this beautiful casa to live in . . . everything parents gave a child, and now she was casting it all aside.

  Sirena gazed warmly into Regan’s eyes. “She’s right, darling, today is not the day to vent our hostilities.” She rose to embrace her husband.

  Watching them, Fury smiled. Now she knew exactly what her parents would be doing later instead of fighting.

  “I think that I will check on the progress in the ballroom,” she drawled. “Guests should be arriving in a few hours. I want to make sure there are enough fresh flowers.” Sirena winked roguishly at her daughter as she and her husband glided from the room.

  As Fury walked through the halls, she thought about her parents and their wonderful life. They loved passionately, quarreled just as passionately, and nothing would ever separate them. They lived and loved for each other. She thought it miraculous the way their love had survived all these years. “There are other kinds of love,” she muttered to herself as she picked a wilted leaf from a flower arrangement. Love had to be more than just physical—passion-bruised lips, sweaty bodies, touching and caressing . . . When she was fifteen her mother had tried to explain about that side of it, but she’d felt too much shame to listen. That had been a mistake. She should have tried to understand instead of harboring such wicked imaginings. Right now, this very second, her parents were probably . . . touching, feeling, kissing . . . Swallowing hard, she ran down the corridor like a wild boy past her parents’ bedroom. Face flaming, she made her way to the pond in the garden, where she dropped to her knees and splashed cool water on her burning cheeks.

  The air around her churned as Gaspar and Pilar, their huge wings creating an umbrella over her, finally settled on her shoulders. Fury sighed. “You always know when something is troubling me, don’t you, Gaspar? Pilar, you get back to those babies right now, do you hear me? I’m fine. Gaspar, make her go back, the babies might tumble from the nest.”

  Gaspar daintily moved on her shoulder until one large wing nudged Pilar. Pilar tucked her head down and pecked Fury’s cheek before she took wing.

  “You have to be stern with her, Gaspar, she’s a mother now. You must make sure nothing happens to the little ones. It’s your responsibility to care for them until they can fly themselves. Look at me. Tomorrow I leave this nest and head for Java. It’s time for me to leave and be on my own, to find my destiny. It’s been so wonderful, but all things must come to an end. Come here, Gaspar, I need to hold you, to feel the beat of your heart, to know I’m the one who has saved you so that you could find Pilar and . . . and . . . make . . . babies like Sato and Lago. It’s natural that this should happen for you, for others, but not for me. I promised myself to God, so these worldly emotions are not for me. You can go now,” Fury cooed. “Go ahead, I’m fine now. Pilar will peck your eyes out if you don’t behave yourself.”

  “Haw!” the huge bird squawked. Fury laughed as Gaspar flew toward the trees. “Haw!” his mate answered. Everyone, even the birds, had someone.

  Fury flirted with her image in the mirror, twirling this way and that way to assess the effects of the costly gown on her lithe figure. Miss Antonia was to be congratulated: with this particular dress, the seamstress had achieved perfection. Her mother had chosen the design, but she had picked the color, a deep azure blue that complemented her indigo eyes and honey coloring. She loved the deep cleavage and the way the dress fell away from her tiny waist in deep swirls. Miniature seed pearls and sparkling gemstones were randomly sewn over the gown and along the length of the hem and sleeves, winking and shimmering every time she moved. Her mother would be delighted.

  She’d dressed her own hair, piling it high on top of her head with ebony ringlets curling and feathering about her ears and neck. A veritable waterfall of diamonds graced her ears and slender throat. She would be the belle of this particular ball—her parting gift to her mother and father. They expected her to enjoy herself, to dance with all the eligible gentlemen and to flirt shamelessly. And she would; it wasn’t too much to ask, and she was more than willing to create one last memory for her parents.

  She was ready with minutes to spare, enough time to add just a smidgin of color to her lips and cheeks. Next she eyed the sparkling diamond garter her mother had given her when she was seventeen. It was decadently wicked, but as long as she was going through all the motions, she might as well put it on.

  She braced one long, tawny leg on the dressing table bench and secured the garter a few inches above her knee. It fit as perfectly as it had the day of her seventeenth birthday. Cheeks awash with color, she walked to the mirror, skirts in hand, and stared at the precious gems adorning her thigh and felt a rush of heat through her body. She turned from the mirror in time to see Gaspar land daintily on the window ledge, his talons securing his position. “Haw.”

  “My sentiments exactly,” Fury said, quietly letting her skirts drop. “I don’t like the way this makes me feel, Gaspar. It . . . it makes me feel . . . so . . . sinful.

  “I can’t wear this,” she muttered. “I don’t know what Mother was thinking of when she gave it to me.” In a frenzy she released the catch of the garter and threw it on the bed, where it shimmered like a snakeskin. Her color still high, she ran to the basin of water on her nightstand to wash her hands.

  “Lord, forgive my sinful thoughts. I’m trying to do . . . to act . . . I’ll never think such thoughts again,” she gasped.

  “Gaspar, Gaspar,” she said, an hour later tripping over to the huge bird. “You’ve never seen me looking like this, have you? At first I felt rather silly, as though I were dressing up in Mother’s clothes, but now . . . I rather like the way I look. It’s just for this one night,” she said, stroking the bird’s velvety feathers.

  His perch secure, the bird dipped its head and pecked at the dangling diamonds in her ear. Fury smiled. “I saw your babies fly. You should have warned me somehow, Gaspar. They were wobbly, but Pilar was right behind them. It was wonderful. Tomorrow they will fly farther and the day after still farther. The basket was a good idea, one of my better ones,” Fury cooed to the hawk. “They all told me Pilar wouldn’t make her nest in it because I touched it, but I knew better because you carried it to the trees for her. I feel like crying, Gaspar, and I don’t know why. I’m going to miss you and this house and everyone. Part of me doesn’t want to leave, that little part of me I’m selfishly withholding from God. That small part that is me, Furana. I want to give entirely of myself, but—” One large wing fluttered and opened to spread over Fury’s dark head. For a moment she allowed herself to lean against the bird’s hard chest. “Don’t forget about me, Gaspar,” she choked. “I must go now. I’m going to be late.”

  The hawk’s eyes never left the girl until the door closed behind her. “Haw, haw, haw!” he screeched. An answering sound echoed down from the basket perched high in the breadfruit tree. The bird’s talons dug deep into the chair back as his huge wings lifted outward. He swooped about the room, heading straight for Fury’s bed. His talons dug into the coverlet until his grasp on the diamond garter was secure. Hi
s surge through the open window was swift and sure as he soared upward to his mate. “Haw, haw!”

  “My God, Regan, she’s a vision of beauty,” Sirena whispered as Fury entered the ballroom.

  Speechless, Regan stared at his daughter. She looked exactly like her mother. He wanted to say something, to compliment this child of his, but as always at moments like this, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

  Fury assumed her position in the receiving line, and the formality of her birthday ball began. She smiled charmingly, every inch her mother’s daughter as she greeted the guests who’d come to wish her well. When the last guest sailed through the flowered archway, Regan raised his hand to the musicians, their signal to start the music. Instantly a handsome young man claimed Fury and whisked her onto the dance floor.

  “She’s more graceful when she fences, don’t you think?” Regan observed to Sirena as he saw his daughter stumble over her partner’s foot.

  “She gets her clumsiness from you,” Sirena muttered. “We Spanish are light of foot, graceful, and demure.” Regan chuckled as his wife glided away to mingle with her guests.

  “Sirena, my dear, however did you manage all this?” Dona Louisa asked as she waved her arms about the flower-decked ballroom.

  Sirena smiled and squeezed her friend’s arm. “With a great deal of patience, Louisa,” she said. “The flowers were brought in this afternoon from the greenhouses. I wanted to make sure they didn’t wilt. Darling, you must try some of the rum punch we’ve laid out; it’s a family recipe—Oh, there’s Don Carlos. I must speak to him, Louisa. We’ll talk more later, I promise.” With that, Sirena hurried off into the crowd.

  She had to admit that the great ballroom did look like something out of a fairy tale, with the monstrous crystal chandeliers and matching sconces that winked and twinkled with the dancers’ movements. The musicians were dressed in impeccable white with crimson cravats and cummerbunds that set off the scarlet blooms surrounding the dais where they strummed their guitars. They were playing a lovely ballad, and more couples swirled onto the dance floor in time to the music.